Self Harm
People who deliberately harm themselves are not automatically suicidal. Some people hurt themselves in order to cope with overwhelming emotions. They may have enormous feelings of guilt, shame and fear about what they are doing, yet feel powerless to stop. Many people who self harm suffer from eating disorder and a high percentage have been abused as children. Self injury may not be aimed at death; nevertheless it is not about attention seeking or game playing. Like suicidal feelings, self harming behaviour may express a powerful sense of despair and should be taken seriously. It has been estimated that 40% of those who take their own life have a history of self harm/suicide attempts. People who self harm often do die at their own hands, whether accidentally or deliberately.
Remember that the feelings of despair and isolation the sufferer feels are often similar to those of someone with suicidal thoughts, although someone self harming may not intend to kill themselves. Quite often in fact, deliberate self-harm is a means of preventing suicide in an individual, as it offers a strategy for coping, be it a maladaptive one.
Just being there for a self-harming friend and listening to their concerns could contribute to making them feel less isolated and frightened. At the same time, if you are in a close relationship with them you are likely to feel fearful, angry or guilty. You should find someone, whether a friend, a family member, a counsellor, your GP or one of the other contacts in this book, in whom you can confide your own worries.
Supporting someone in great distress is emotionally draining and you would be wise to suggest that your friend look for outside support, as well as having you there, to take some of the emotional burden off yourself. You may want to gently suggest that they contact the counselling service or their GP for professional help. Whatever happens, don’t feel that you’re alone and don’t be afraid to seek help.